Renamed London theatres

As I said recently I have taken it upon myself to rename some of London’s theatres for the purpose of bringing them up to date, to reflect the history of the building and the contribution individual women – and men – have made to British theatre over the years of their existence.

Here, in no particular order and including the odd fringe theatre, is my initial list of renamings, beginning with the theatres that should in my view remain unchanged:

Theatre Royal Drury Lane     
Unchanged. It’s the oldest theatre site in the world; there have been four Theatre Royals on this very site and it would be perverse to change its name now.

Garrick, Harold Pinter, Noel Coward, Stephen Sondheim Theatres
Unchanged. If these names mean nothing to today’s youngsters maybe they’d be encouraged to find out something about them.

Vaudeville Theatre
Elizabeth Robins Theatre, in honour of the actress, writer, producer and suffragette who was responsible, along with Marion Lea, for the first British production of Hedda Gabler, at a time when no other production company would touch it.

Elizabeth Robins (Wikipedia)

Gielgud Theatre                     
Helen Mirren Theatre. (With apologies to Sir John) It was here that Mirren, HM, played to perfection HM the Queen in Peter Morgan’s play The Audience; and it was in the interval of a performance, so the story goes, that HM, in full HM costume and makeup, confronted a band that was playing loudly right outside the building and therefore audible to the audience with the words, ‘Shut the f*** up!’

Lyttelton Theatre (National)  
Helen McCrory Theatre. It was in this theatre that Helen McCrory broke hearts with her portrayal of Hester in Terence Rattigan’s Deep Blue Sea. It was not her only appearance at the National but it’s the one that remains in my mind. One of our most affecting and talented actresses, she died a few years ago, tragically, in her early fifties, and I feel it would be a lovely way to remember her.

Helens Mirren and McCrory in The Audience and The Deep Blue Sea

His/Her Majesty’s Theatre    
Herbert Tree Theatre. He built it after all. Sparing no expense he included a ballroom at the top, a private apartment and, most notably, an acting school in the dome that later became known as RADA (the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art).

Theatre Royal Haymarket     
Sarah Siddons Theatre. Strictly speaking Mrs Siddons was connected exclusively with Drury Lane and Covent Garden, being the only two patented theatres when she was alive. Since Drury Lane remains the Theatre Royal and Covent Garden is now associated with opera and ballet the next most prestigious theatre I can think of is the Theatre Royal in Haymarket.

Lyceum Theatre                     
Henry Irving Theatre. The first actor ever to be knighted was actor-manager of this theatre for many years, so this is what you might call a no-brainer.

Duchess Theatre                    
Ellen Terry Theatre. Ellen Terry was Henry Irving’s onstage partner for many years so it seems fitting that the two theatres, almost next door to one another, should reflect this famous partnership.

Aldwych Theatre
Ben Travers Theatre. I grew up associating the Aldwych Theatre with ‘Aldwych farces’, most of them written by the great Ben Travers in the 1920s and ‘30s.

@sohoplace                           
Nica Burns Theatre. @sohoplace (what a silly name) is the newest West End theatre, built on the site of the old Astoria in Charing Cross Road. It was conceived by Nica Burns and opened in 2022, when Covid was still very much around. That any new theatre was able to emerge from the Covid drought is a miracle in itself, which is why I think Ms Burns should be commemorated accordingly.

The Royal Court Theatre        
Granville Barker OR the George Devine Theatre, to reflect the two artistic directors/managers who changed the face of this building into what it is now.

Harley Granville Barker (Wikipedia) and George Devine (Mubi)

Hampstead Theatre               
Michael Frayn Theatre. I’m harking back to the days when Hampstead Theatre was a prefabricated hut with no wings, a leaking roof and no soundproofing. In this humble shack miracles emerged, not least many of Michael Frayn’s early plays, including Alphabetical Order.

OR
Lyric Hammersmith               
Another option for The Michael Frayn Theatre as his most popular play Noises Off premiered here. (I remember the original version well, it’s the nearest I’ve come to literally falling off my seat. He had terrible difficulties with Act 3 apparently.)
OR                                          
The Simon Stephens Theatre. Stephens is a playwright and adaptor who achieved the impossible task of adapting The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time into a brilliant play (at the National Theatre). Two of his adaptations premiered at the Lyric Hammersmith, where he is an Associate Artist.

Over to you: please send me your suggestions for renaming London’s theatres.